I still have my Dad in arms reach, but he has changed. Alzheimer's is slowly taking him from us. His mind, once so intelligent and sharp, is now reverting to more childlike behavior and replacing the once easy going and good natured man to a difficult person to be around. He has good and bad days, and I get to experience many good days, but its still hard.
My heart breaks at watching the rest of my family deal with this disease. My sisters miss their Dad as much as I do. My Mom is holding up, but it isn't easy- she never has a moment without grief of loosing her life long partner and love. She shared with me some tender moments they have recently had together and I will start praying she has more of those.
My two older children love their Grandpa, but they have noticed the change and it scares them and makes them uncomfortable. But they are learning some interesting skills on how to deal with those that are different and push their boundaries. I just wish they didn't have to learn these skills from my Father.
My Baby, however, loves her Grandpa and sees him the way he is meant to be seen: He is fun, and playful, and adoring and safe. She can tease with him and she doesn't see the Man who is no longer is- she just sees him.
Honestly, my eyes are tearing up as I write. I am so grateful that My Dad is who he is. I am thankful I still have him and that he is teaching me, yet again, how to serve and love in a Christlike manner. His life, church activity and even his career was always about serving others. I know my Dad has done an amazing job in his life and has passed the tests the Lord has given him. He is now taking us on a journey to learn to serve and love and grow. And even though he knew this process would be painful, he knew it would also be worth it. I am prepared to go forth and help my friends who are loosing parents to this horrible disease. I now have an understanding to so many people who are feeling the pain of loosing someone they love, without actually saying goodbye.
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| Kathryn with her Grandpa. |
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| My parents after their wedding in SLC, Ut. 1968. |
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| 1984- In front of our house in SLC, Utah |
6 comments:
tears are running down my cheeks too Megan. I hurt for you and your sweet family. You are one strong woman and I know you will be lessed immnesly for getting through this, and how you will be able to bless others as they go thrghou it because you will have been there. I love you and pray for yu to have special moments too ;)
okay so the one time I don't proofread before I click that dumb "publish" button and it looks like a mess! forgive my typing skills, you know what I meant, right?
I love you Mandy. :o)
Oh Megan. You got me crying first thing this morning. I'm so sorry this must be so hard. Oh if we could only be more child-like and see everything like Kathryn does. What a sweet experience to have her to guide you through this.
Thank you for sharing this. I hope for many "good days" for all of you.
My mom is in the final stages of Alzheimer's. It has been an interesting and often painful journey but it has taught me many things and I am grateful for the positive things that have come out of it. I hope you have the book The 36-Hour Day. It will help you navigate the landscape of Alzheimer's. I highly recommend it. Hugs to you. There are blessings ahead.
I had no idea. I am sorry that you guys are going through this. I am happy Kathryn can just enjoy your Dad's playfulside.
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