Purging Jeans

This morning found me on the floor of my closet looking at my hanging clothes.  Specifically my hanging pants and jeans.  I have so many jeans hanging in my closet.  Jean and jeans and jeans.  More jeans than a person would ever need or want.  Most of these jeans don't fit.  Most of the jeans that don't fit are too small.  A few are too big.  I have my favorites that usually hang out in a pile in my room that I reach for a semi-regular basis.  I can't put my clothes in drawers because I am so overly visual that I will not remember that I have those articles of clothing and will never use them.  However, since these jeans don't fit, I never use them anyway.

I will jump to another topic, seemingly unrelated, but its not, so bear with me. 

I want to start over.  I want to pick up and move away from all of my obligations in a new city where no one knows me or my history.  I want to discover a new way of living.  I want to explore something that can completely be my own.  I want to be able to walk away from all expectation and ease into a whole new set of rules for myself.  This is an itch I get every so often.  A desire that comes from my feeling stagnant or lonely or dissatisfied or bored with life.  I am not so much any of those things at the moment, however the daily struggles in life have been heavy lately.  Its been a struggle to get out of bed some days and I find myself thinking of a life without the pressures of the daily grind.  I think about it a lot lately.

Starting over would result in so much loss.  I have friendships that have spanned 2/3rds or more of my lifetime.  I have new friends that I would not trade for anything.  I have my family who loves me.  I have my beautiful children who rely and depend on me and bring me so much JOY.  While my fantasy is to live an anonymous and new life, it is simply a fantasy.

So, as I was sitting in my closet, I began to wonder if I purged all these jeans that I was hanging onto for some unexplained reason, would this help me feel lighter?  Would letting go of my physical belongings help relieve any of the unseen burden I'm carrying around on my shoulders... and heart?  Besides, most of the jeans wouldn't even fit if I weighed the amount I weighed when I wore them before because of my changing skeleton.... and don't even talk about the styles... but some might be back in....

I am starting a journey to lightening my load.  I am going to purge my possessions.  As I do this, I will be working through issues in my mind.  I hope this process will lighten the load on my heart.  If it does, that will be wonderful.  If it doesn't, well, at least my closet will be cleaned out.

Self Manager

What does it take to be a self-manager? 
                                     You have to be safe, respectful, responsible and follow the rules of the school.  Your reading, your writing, your ELD(English Language Development) and your Home Room Teacher all need to sign off on your behavior.

Once you are a self manager, you get to:
Help the teacher
Get in line first on PE Days
Get a drink in the back of the classroom during study time
Go to the bathroom without a pass(You still have to ask the teacher though)
Help pass out papers
Erase the board when the teacher says

Leila tried really hard last year to be awarded a self-manager badge and did not get it.  This year she did and is very pleased with herself.  We are too. 

Good Job Leila!

Childrens Museum

While Uncle Chris was in town over Christmas Break, the Conser Cousins met up with him at the Portland Childrens Museum!  We had a grand time!  Thanks Uncle for playing with us! 

It was fun to have Grandma Conser, Aunt Tamara and cousins Carina and Logan with us too!

Pics from Dec. 28, 2011

Nathan's Surgery

Nathan had surgery back on Jan. 3rd.  I will spare details as its a sensitive topic of a private area and I don't want to embarrass the little guy.  But lets just say with all the anxiety he had going into the surgery, he sure got a lot out of it.

He had a nurse who explained everything to him.  The first thing she told him after her name was that she would not be giving him any shots.  He was glad to hear that.  He felt pretty good by the time they wheeled him down the hall. 

As his parents we felt a lot calmer.  It was a much easier surgery than Kathryn's.  We know and trusted Dr. Lashley(Same urologist who operated on Kathryn).  And Nathan was so much older is was easier in a way to be able to explain things to him.  He really liked his anthesia, it was hard to wake him up!  Big surprise there, right?

He is a sweet boy-- he got a new bear, a new 49ers pillow case, and a really cool race track!  Plus he was doted on and loved on like crazy. 

We love you little man.  Glad you are feeling better.

Good Bye 2011! Welcome 2012!

The real questions are:  Will Leila be as tall as her mother by the end of 2012?  Will Nathan get a pair of glasses that won't break the first week he has them?  Will Kathryn ever let me put her hair up again?

Happy New Year Friends and Family!