Valentines- I think I will take it

I ran across a tube of lemon flavored lip gloss in my bottom drawer in my bathroom this past week. I remember buying this lip gloss on Jeremy's and my first Valentines together, which was a dozen years ago. I knew my sweetie loved the sours and thought how fun it would be for him to get a sour kiss. I am not sure he noticed the sour kiss- I think I had to point it out to him. We had a candlelight steak dinner. We enjoyed what was probably a very boring, uneventful evening without children. I wonder what we talked about?

Now, I had fun this first year with J and I together, but Valentines Day hasn't always meant very much to me. Most of my Valentines were as a heart sick teen. Oh, and then there was that one Valentines Day my x-husband left me like a week before(Yes, this is a reminder to everyone I was married before Jeremy! I know- you always forget about that part of my life. So do I- I am so over it- but it was part of my past, so it will never be fully gone. And he didn't just leave me- it was mutual and necessary and proof that divorce was created by God for a reason.).

But even before that I always figured Valentines Day is stupid. I already have professed my love to my lover- why have a day I have to go out and buy him a card and other unmentionables to tell him something I tell him on a daily basis? Hallmark Holiday. Baah Humbug.

My husband thinks differently. He likes the fuss. He likes the professions of love. He likes the unmentionables. We always did something. The gifts I received were waaaaay better than the gifts I gave, but it worked out. The Valentines Day after Nathan was born J was working swing shift, I wasn't back to work quite yet. I had arranged a beautiful scene, including candles, for him to walk into. After getting both kids down, and probably taking a shower(maybe a first for that day- I don't know- can't remember!) I sat and waited for the LOVE OF MY LIFE to come home. I got cold. I got bored. I was beyond exhausted with a two month old still getting up at night. The take-down of the beautiful scene went quit quickly. My flannel, nursing PJ's came on even faster.

Poor Jeremy was very offended when he got home that night. I got the cold shoulder. Not saying that really bothered me... I am one who really really really values my personal time and personal space. But I did feel bad for him. I felt bad for disappointing him- the man who has accepted me despite my flannel pj's and non-showering days.

So- fast forward to 2008 and 2009 when my adorable little girl decides Balentimes Day is the best day in the whole wide world! She was thrilled with decorating the house. She was ecstatic about a heart shaped pizza. She love wearing pink and red. And Candy on top of it all! Yahoo! She lovingly shared every valentine card that was boy themed with her brother. She even shared her candy with the rest of us. Her Daddy enjoyed her excitement, as we all did. He loved that he had a buddy on this fun fun day. I felt like Valentines was fun again because I could make it fun for the kids and we could enjoy watching them enjoy it.

On Feb. 11, 2010 the stomach bug hit the Conser home. Several of us stayed home from school and work. Leila and Daddy worked on getting her Valentines ready for her school party. They enjoyed the time spent together. I realized while watching my sweet husband help my daughter print her name and the name of her friends on her cards that Valentines is amazing. He takes the time to help them pick me out a card, some flowers, and explain how special this day can be. My heart loves this man more than I can ever explain. I already loved him this much. Watching him care and love our children adds so much more to my feelings to him.

So while Leila's and Nathan's school has renamed "Valentines" day to "Friendship" day to take any possible thought of romance out of it, I think it is about LOVE. And it is about FRIENDS too. Its about being TOGETHER. Its about LOVING EACH OTHER. So, while I would love to pretend this "Holiday" never existed, I think I am OK with it. It does remind me of the good things in life. It reminds me about how much I have- and I really have so very much.