Love Phrases

When do we stop loving ourselves with reckless abandon?  When we do start realizing we need to not boast about our accomplishments, our favorite things, our happy treats?

I remember my daughter Leila as a small child playing in the backyard singing:  I love myself!  I LOVE MYSELF!  This made me chuckle at the time.  Watching this little girl with her fine blond hair flitting through the grass filled my heart.  I was so GLAD she loved herself and ACKNOWLEDGED that love.  I always ask my children if they know how much I love them.  They usually say yes.  Nathan has realized he can get a little more attention if he says "no" and turns it into a game that requires our conversation that we both agree on how much I love him.  We start talking about HOW MUCH I love him until he finally agrees he knows how much. 

Each kid has their own love phrase with me.  I love Leila one hundred billion million times eleven.  I love Nathan more than all the BLANK(insert word like STARS or LEAVES) in the BLANK(insert corresponding word like SKY or TREES).  I love Kathryn with my whole heart.  Its a fun game.

Today I asked Kathryn if she knew how special she is.  She smiled her amazing smile on that beautiful face framed by curls and complete with dimples and put her hands in the air and said YES MOMMA!  I'M SPECIAL!

I don't want her to stop feeling this about herself.  I know she will one day.  One day all of my children will(and have) start to compare themselves to other people and see the comparisons and shortcomings as their own faults.  I would do anything to keep them from feeling this inevitable pain.  They will even look at each other and see where their talents fall short of the others.  Its much harder to see where their talents are stronger.  Especially when they are looking at themselves critically. 

At some point we learn its not politically correct to love ourselves out loud.  Its not OK to dance around in the backyard singing I love myself!  I guess this is OK.  I just wonder, when we stop singing and dancing, do we stop believing how wonderful we are?  I certainly hope not, but am thinking we do on some level.  At least I think I did.

As a mother, I want to know how to combat this phenomenon so my children will love themselves and know how amazing they are for their entire lives.  I am not sure, except continually cultivate a loving and happy environment where I can freely tell them many love phrases a day.  Hoping each love phrase sinks in a little more and will allow them to carry  my love around with them a little bit longer.  So on a day when words or actions hurt, I hope they remember my words, my smile, or my  hands flashing the I LOVE YOU sign at them. 

Because I do love you my sweet children-- more than you will ever know.