Surgery Questions and tender moments

The kids have been thinking a lot about Kathryn's surgery next month.  I under estimate how much they overhear me talk about it- and they hear me talk about it over and over since I have updated several friends and family over the past week, so it must feel huge and scary to them.

Tonight Nathan asked Jeremy if Kathryn would have a scar.  Jeremy told him yes.  Nathan asked if it could be shaped like a lightening bolt.  I told Jeremy to remember to ask the surgeon that.

He came in a bit later to talk to me more about Kathryn's surgery. 
Nathan:  Mom, how will they open her up mom?
Me: They will use a scalpel that will be sterile and clean to open her.
Nathan:  Is it like a knife?
Me:  Yes.  It is like a knife.  The doctor is very good at his job and will take very good care of her.
Nathan: Is it sharp?
Me: Yea, I think it is pretty sharp.
Nathan: Will Kathryn cry because it hurts so bad?
Me: No, Nathan, Kathryn will be asleep and have special medicine so she won't remember the surgery.  She will wake up and feel some pain, but won't remember anything the doctors did to her.  She will probably cry after the surgery, but not during.
Nathan: Will you be with her at the hospital?
Me:  Yes.
Nathan: Where will we be?
Me:  Your Grandma(not sure which one yet) will be here with you in the morning and take you to school.  After you get home from school Daddy will come and get you and bring you to see Kathryn at the hospital.  I think she will like to see you.  You make her happy, and that will brighten her day.
Nathan: That makes me happy we can see her Mom.  She sure must love us because I sure love her.  I hope she is going to be OK mom.
Me:  Nathan, she has very good doctors.  Kathryn will have a blessing the night before.  Mommy and Daddy love her and you and Leila so much- we will always take care of you to make sure you will always be strong and healthy.
Nathan:  I love you mom.  We will keep Kathryn in our prayers every day.
He then kisses me and bounds off to bed where he relays our conversation to Leila in the top bunk.

This conversation took place with him nestled in my arms, squirming around, his eyes big and concerned.  The love he has for his sister is moving.  We will get through this-- as a family-- and be stronger for it.

Meal Planning = Saving Money!

I am a list maker.  I love my calendar.  I write out things I am thinking through and I have my own little methods to compartmentalize and deal with my issues.  I am not the most organized person in the world, but what I do brings me great comfort. 

Money has been tight lately and I am panicking with the future of our bills increasing and my income decreasing.  So, I started making several lists--  Sunday I did something I haven't done all summer long:  I made a meal plan, with my grocery list to the right of it.  I got all the way through next Week.  Yay for me! 

Funny thing is, I went and bought food from my list, which included meats and cheeses among other items that are usually costly, and I spent less than I have been spending.  This means, if I stick to my list and buy the meals I have planed for, I saved some money!  Double Yay for me!

I would love to coupon, but I just can't get it down.  I have friends and a sister who save HUNDREDS of dollars a month on couponing, but for whatever reason I just can't figure it out for me.  So I go to Winco, which has pretty good pricing, and I feel satisfied with my efforts.

So, I know its boring and mundane, but it really has helped make my week easier.  I am amazed at the comfort it gives me to look at what I have already planned and figured out at the start of my day, so I don't have to stress, or even think about at the end of my day.  My kids couldn't care less, but my husband appreciates my cooking.  I usually try to cook up extra for his lunch the next day- and depending on the meal and my ingredients on hand maybe another batch to freeze for a future meal.  Nathan is my very picky eater, so gets salad most days.  I am not a short-order cook.  

Here is my plan:
Monday: bbq chicken & noodles (Super yummy and enjoyed with friends)
Tuesday: tacos(kids will always eat with us)
Weds: Beef stew & Salad(One of Leila's favorites)
Thurs: Spaghetti, bread, salad
Friday: BONUS DAY- Dinner at moms!(I am taking rolls)
Saturday: Chicken & potatoes
Sunday: Soup & Rolls & Salad
Monday: Burgers & Pasta Salad
Tuesday: tacos
Weds: Crock-pot chicken, bread, salad
Thurs:Caribbean Pork & Rice
Fri:

I think if I could get a good three to four weeks worth of individual meals, I could just interchange them on a fairly routine basis.  But to do that, I need serious help- any ideas on easy menus?

My family has a recipe blog- nothing fancy- but fun for us to look at:  http://familyrecipes-meganconser.blogspot.com/

First Day of SCHOOL!

The kids were so excited for school!

Well... Leila was. Nathan wasn't so much.  I couldn't coax a smile out of him for anything.  He and I went and got donuts for breakfast for the family this morning, and that certainly helped.  I am thinking this might become a tradition- he is our early riser and we have plenty of time to go pick out a dozen donuts and be back before the others are up.  

Nathan thinks Kindergarten is boring.  In his words, the only good thing about kindergarten is they got to go outside and play.  Leila thinks 1st grade is just a little bit harder than kindergarten, but mostly the same.  She LOVES it, as we knew she would. 

We took our annual walk down to the school, with all the cars backed-up we are glad we are able to walk to school on first days(and any other day when it doesn't rain). 

It will be a fun year to see how they both settle in.  I can't beleive I had a 1st grader and and kindergartener!  Nathan is going half days thru next week, then he will be in full day kindergarten.  He was also accepted into the two-way immersion program, so expect my kiddos to be speaking some spanish to each other soon!

I love these kids-- LOVE THEM!

Sweet Seven

Our sweet Leila turned 7 today!  Its hard to believe I have now been a mom for 7 years.  Its even harder to believe how beautiful she is and how much she has grown.

I always wanted to be a mom.  The weeks and months before  Leila was born I would dream about the moment we would meet face to face.  In my dream my husband would bring her to me and her eyes would look up and lock on mine. 

On Sept. 4th, 2003 that exact thing happened.  She is simply my dream come true.

Happy Birthday Leila!  You are our Angel Girl!  We are crazy about you!

The New "Do"

She grew out her bangs for a long time... and now she has a new do to show for it.  Just in time for a new school year, and a whole new age.

Isn't she LOVELY?

Date Set

We have a date set for Kathryn's surgery- its Oct. 25th.

Its been a very hard week to figure this out.  We have been on the fence about proceeding, or waiting.  Pros and cons with both actions.  We called the insurance and the cost is huge.  We realized the decision would be much easier if cost were no issue and decided to take that out of the equation altogether.  I have been prayerful, I have been logical, I have been thoughtful.  I have been seeking advice from those who understand medical issues, understand my concerns, understand how hard it is to be a parent.  I just wasn't sure what to do.

Then last night Kathryn came down with another UTI and the urgency to get this little girl better is all consuming.  She is hurting and miserable.  As nice as it is to cuddle my baby, its not nice knowing she is in pain and unhappy and damage could be happening to her tiny organs right now. 

So--- the date is set.  We are going to take care of you sweet baby girl.

Little Miss Kathryn Goes to the Hospital!

So cute in her PJ's provided by the hospital- of course all the nurses fell in love with this little cutie- how couldn't they?

Thursday we took Kathryn in for her second VCUG- and hopefully her last. When we came around the corner to her little cubical in the children's surgical center at the Gerry Frank Center at St. V's and there was a new teddy bear and a sticker with her name on it waiting for her. She quickly introduced "pearly" to Elmo and had them kiss complete with kissy noises made by her. We changed her into her hospital provided PJ's, which were very soft and cuddly and waited for the nurse to come take vitals.

When we had the VCUG when she was 5 months old they took us directly back to the procedure. Since she is older and definitely in need of some help with her anxiety we choose to get her some versed. It worked wonders. Not only does Kathryn have anxiety in general with other women, she wasn't too comfortable in this setting. She knew something had to be up! She refused any vital taking. After the drugs got in her system(orally) 10 minutes later we were able to get her vitals taken to make sure she was OK for the procedure. She got pretty silly and laughed at a lot of things- especially Daddy- and the nurse didn't bother her one bit. We found out the nurse has a daughter named EllaKathryn. How cute is that?

The VCUG was a bummer- the meds calmed her, but she still felt pain. She still fussed the entire time(we tried to distract with an Elmo DVD, but it wasn't enough). You know how it feels when your baby gets a shot and they look at you with those eyes, wondering why you allowed someone to inflict pain on them? Try to do that for 40 minutes straight. I am thankful I was allowed to be in there with her. I did cry a bit with her too. Poor poor baby. Thankfully the drugs have an amnesia effect and she won't be remember any of this.

Back in her cubical she was able to relax and have a Popsicle. She was very happy for that, but very grumpy and clingy. And that is OK. After vitals again we were able to dress her, collect the results and head out to meet with her doctor. We had a little time in-between(not enough to get home and relax though)and Jeremy and I had strange visions of actually getting to go somewhere nice to eat, but our darling didn't want to get out of her car seat, so we settled for drive-thru, a drive out in the country, and headed back to the Doctor.

The Doctor said the reflux on the left side is actually improving, but the kidney is not growing. He is worried about the non-growth on this kidney and suggested we go ahead and do the surgery to correct the reflux to give us two things: 1-it might help the kidney start growing, 2- it will definitely keep her from having more infections and preserve and protect the state of her kidney at this point. He said we could wait another 6 months and see if the reflux improves anymore, but if it were his child, he would go ahead and take care of it. The good news is that this surgery is 99% successful. We would check by ultra sound a month after the surgery to make sure everything is OK. If it looks good we would check again in 6 months and again at 1 year. If it looked good at the 1 month mark she could go off the antibiotic treatment she has been on since last summer. We talked about another option that didn't sound as successful. Her right kidney hasn't changed much, but he isn't worried about it, since its only a level 2.

So we have a lot to think about and decide. I want to discuss with her pediatrician too. But mostly I just want a healthy baby. The thought we could be done with all this very soon is a relief. I just want to make sure I am making the right decision for her and for our family. When we do decide to go forward the Doctor schedules his surgeries out about a month.

I haven't discussed my feelings or emotions about her situation since her ultrasound the beginning of August. I would like to say I have been a strong woman with immovable faith and have little concern. But, as I am writing this story out for my posterity I want them to know I am afraid. When I found out Kathryn's kidney wasn't growing and it was in fact shrinking my heart broke. I know she is healthy and strong, but something inside of her isn't right, and its up to me, her mommy to make sure it gets fixed. The responsibility of that feels huge and back on August 2nd(the day of the ultrasound) it was huge and overwhelming to me. I have to say I am very thankful we discovered it quickly last summer as she was a baby. The funny thing is, as I tried not to talk about her issue and was putting on a brave front(and my way of doing that is denial), I found a few key people talking to me about it and helping me put into words my concerns and thoughts really did help. I am still quite anxious, but I feel better having the additional information and the expertise of the medical community.

I love this baby. Its an honor to be her mommy and I am thankful I get to take care of her. Thanks to so many of my friends and family who take care of me and the rest of my family so I can be my best.